


The Sandwich Incident

by SwaggieyamaBrobio (InsertTheWitty)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, also based on real events, and tanaka too, goddamnit sophie, most of this is caplocks I apologize, suga and daichi and mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:05:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4826750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsertTheWitty/pseuds/SwaggieyamaBrobio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one should trust Noya with sharp objects and poor Asahi is going to have a heart attack one of these days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sandwich Incident

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for my friend May on tumblr as a fic request (which took forever because it's me) but I thought while I take my sweet time with my hetalia fics might as well upload the second haikyuu fanfiction I ever wrote. I hope you enjoyed!

Nishinoya Yuu is, to put it simply, a hurricane of a person. There's never any telling what he'll get up too next or what strange story would accompany the new bruises on his arm, but whether big or small, whatever he does leaves an impact.

**From Noya at 1:58 am**

**I HAVE A KNIFE WOUND ABOUT A FOOT LONG DOWN MY ARM AND CAN'T FIND ANY BANDAIDS**

But even knowing all of that, and a little voice saying time and time again that no one should be surprised anymore, out of literally all the things that could have gone wrong today, this was something Asahi had never considered. So he does what he normally does.

_To Noya at 1:59 am_

_WHY? WHAT DID YOU DO?_

He panicked.

**From Noya at 2:03 am**

**WHAT**

**OH SHIT NO**

**ITS IN THE VEGETABLES**

_To Noya at 2:04 am_

_WHAT DID YOU DO?!?_

_ARE YOU COOKING?_

**From Noya at 2:04 am**

**I WAS**

_To Noya at 2:04 am_

_HOW DO YOU DO THAT WHILE COOKING_

_HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE_

_IS ANYONE HOME WITH YOU OH MY GOD CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SOMETHING_

**From Noya at 2:06 am**

**NO IT’S 2 AM EVERYONE’S ASLEEP**

_To Noya at 2:06 am_

_WHERE ARE YOU_

**From Noya at 2:07 am**

**RYU’S HOUSE**

**A GOD THERE’S BLODD IN THE POTATO CHUNKS**

_To Noya at 2:08 am_

_GET HELP_

**From Noya at 2:08 am**

**THEY**

**ARE**

**SLEEPING**

_To Noya at 2:09 am_

_WHO GIVES A SHIT THAT THEY’RE SLEEPING I THINK THAT TANAKA WOULD CARE MORE ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE BLEEDING THAN HIS BEAUTY SLEEP_

**From Noya at 2:09 am**

**ASAHI.**

**LANGUAGE**

_To Noya at 2:10 am_

_WHY IS THAT WHAT YOU FOCUS ON_

**From Noya at 2:10 am**

**I’M JUST SHOCKED**

_To Noya at 2:11 am_

_I CURESE WHEN I AM STRESSED AND YOU’RE MAKING ME VERY STRESSED_

**From Noya at 2:12 am**

**DON’T WORRY I GOT THIS**

**I CAN HANDLE THIS**

**maybe**

_To Noya at 2:12 am_

_I DON’T BELIEVE YOU_

**From Noya at 2:13 am**

**I**

**GOT**

**THIS**

_To Noya at 2:13 am_

_YOU_

_ARE_

_BLEEDING_

_DO I HAVE TO CALL AN AMBULANCE FOR YOU, BECAUSE I WILL AND IT WILL BE A LONG AND VERY COMPLICATED PROCESS BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHERE TANAKA LIVES_

**From Noya at 2:13 am**

**FINE I’LL GET SUGA-SAN HE’S PROBABLY STILL AWAKE JUST CALM DOWN**

_To Noya at 2:14 am_

_HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THAT HOUSE_

**From Noya at 2:14 am**

**I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT THERE WAS A VERY IMPROMPTU SLEEPOVER AND NOW SUGA-SAN AND DAICHI ARE HERE**

_To Noya at 2:15 am_

_I won't even question it JUST GET HELP ALREADY_

**From Noya at 2:15 am**

**I AM**

It was now, that Asahi takes a sigh of relief, and briefly wonders whether his mother would mind him taking a relaxing bath this early in the morning, his heart was beating as if he had just played a match and if he were an old person his blood pressure would probably be through the roof. It actually might be anyway.

He can’t get his mind off whether Noya actually went and got Suga’s help, but Noya is smart, and he probably would have figured something out even without Asahi’s caps lock ranting and Suga’s assistance. But either way, taking Noya on his word, it has a calming effect by itself knowing Noya would be in good hands and probably not bleeding out on Tanaka’s kitchen floor.

Maybe he could even go back to sleep and get a couple hours before practice tomorrow.

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

**From Noya at 4:20 am**

**I GOT SUGA-SAN AND HE YELLED AT ME ABOUT IT**

**which was unfair btw**

**BUT NOW THE BANDAIDS I FOUND ARE TOO SMALL AND BOTH OF US CAN’T FIND ANY BANDAGES HELP**

He spoke too soon.

**Author's Note:**

> he was making a ham sandwich


End file.
